Finding Joy in Darkness: A Review of The Wedding People

For this review, I would like to point out that I definitely judged a book by its cover because, for those who know me personally, there is no way I’m not reading a book with a bottle of champagne on the cover. The Wedding People by Alison Espach was just a beautiful story about letting go, being yourself, finding yourself, and learning to enjoy life. Now, with all that being said, it was not full of motivational quotes, and it is not some cringey, self-help book. This book caught me off guard, I did not even know what it was about because I wasn’t kidding, I literally just picked it up because of the cover! I thoroughly enjoyed this book; it was a little bit of everything. Our main character is Phoebe, and she wants to die. Phoebe is a professor in Missouri who lives a very structured, monotonous, life. She has gone through a horrible divorce from her husband Matt, who had cheated on and left her for their friend and colleague. She found her cat, Henry, dead and decided that she was done with living too. She books a flight, packs no bags, and ends up in Newport, Rhode Island at the beautiful Cornwall Inn. She has always dreamed of this extravagant hotel and has decided if she is going to die, she wants to do it extravagantly. When she checks into this hotel, she finds every other guest seems to be there for the same thing, a giant wedding. The entire hotel is booked with wedding people and the most lavish wedding Phoebe has ever seen. It doesn’t take long for Phoebe to meet the bride, Lila, and for some reason cannot get rid of her. I really enjoyed the way personal growth and happiness are shown in this book, so very realistic. Not only does this book tug on some heartstrings, but I actually found myself laughing out loud. I think it is important to have stories that show the raw side of mental health, but also the different sides of it. That just because Phoebe was depressed doesn’t mean she didn’t have a laugh with Lila. What I loved most about this book is how when Phoebe decided to die, she started making the choices she has always wanted and been able to make, but now just felt like she had the freedom to do so. I think we have all seen this in different ways through books, shows, and television shows, but the way it’s portrayed through Phoebe and her thoughts makes it easier to understand both why she would feel like she wants to kill herself and how she ends up where she is. This book had so much more depth to it than I thought and reminded you to take in every piece of your life, that no matter how small a moment seems it can be significant. 

Favorite Quotes – “I just mean, a story can be beautiful not because of the way it ends. But because of the way it’s written.”

“There is no such thing as a happy place. Because when you are happy, everywhere is a happy place. And when you are sad, everywhere is a sad place.”

“Your husband is not going to take care of you the way you think,” Phoebe says. “Nobody can take care of you the way you need to take care of yourself. It’s your job to take care of yourself like that.”

“Life is strange. Always thinking that this one thing is going to make you happy. Because then you get it. And then you’re maybe not as happy as you imagined you would be. Because every day is just every day. Like the happiness becomes so big you have no choice but to live inside it. Until you can no longer see or feel it. And so you start to fixate on something else.”

“It is not an easy thing to do, walk away from what you’ve built and save yourself. Destroying Phoebe’s marriage felt like destroying herself. Walking out of the classroom felt like killing the twenty-two-year-old who tried to save her own life by applying to graduate school. It is so much easier to sit in things and wait for something to save us. For the past two years, Phoebe sat in the bad things the way she used to sit in the snow as a child. An hour would go by and it would be very hard for her to get back up. Eventually, she looked down at her toes and became confused: Why are they frozen? It was her father who picked her up, said, It’s time to come inside. But now she has to learn when it’s time to come inside. She has to learn to check in with her toes when nobody else is looking. To care for them when no one else will.”

“I didn’t want to be saved from myself. Nobody does! All we want is permission to stand there naked and be our damned selves.”